The presents are still unopened under the tree but this is already the best Christmas yet. The blessing of my own good health is an amazing gift. But God gives more than we can ever hope to receive, as we are reminded every day with the richness our grandson has added to our lives.
Tom and I didn't just sit and play with our own children the way we do with this grandbaby. There is a twinge of sadness with that realization, but that is part of what makes being grandparents so special. We get another chance to love and adore and appreciate this little person in ways that we were too busy or too inexperienced to do with Mandy and Ben.
As I finished wrapping presents yesterday, more than once my mind wandered back to last Christmas. A year ago I was still undergoing chemotherapy but the tumor in my belly was growing again and I was looking forward to surgery as the only way to effectively attack my Cancer 2.0. My prayer then was to get the tumor out and recover enough to help Mandy take care of the baby she was due to deliver in July.
As I tried last year to look ahead to this Christmas, I thought the most I could hope for was to not have a recurrence of cancer by now. In my darkest moments, I wondered if I would even see this Christmas.
On this day of Christ's birth, my prayers have been more than answered.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tickled
My annual family calendar has been giving my printer a workout all day, culminating a task that weighs me down but also lifts me up. Mostly, it lets me tickle my own funny bone.
Making the Mock Flock calendar has become my personal tradition, starting in 1999. Birthdays and anniversaries are the staple, but as I look back on that first calendar's grainy photos and lack of creativity, I am amazed I even thought it was worth continuing. Over the years, as we have upgraded our computer and bought new calendar software, I have supplemented the much-improved photos by adding fictional stories, made-up quotes and fantasy thought bubbles. The whole exercise amuses me more and more each year.
When November rolls around, the project weighs on me until I finally get it underway. Then as soon as I dig in, the fun begins. Tom is the only one who gets to peek while the project is in process, and he knows better than to suggest major revisions unless I ask his advice.
The format is new this year. The "Mock Flock Gazette" newspaper approach had a good run for a couple of years, leading to last year's personal ads. I won't know until the grand unveiling on Christmas Day whether I've come up with a winner for 2010, but I sure had fun creating it!
Making the Mock Flock calendar has become my personal tradition, starting in 1999. Birthdays and anniversaries are the staple, but as I look back on that first calendar's grainy photos and lack of creativity, I am amazed I even thought it was worth continuing. Over the years, as we have upgraded our computer and bought new calendar software, I have supplemented the much-improved photos by adding fictional stories, made-up quotes and fantasy thought bubbles. The whole exercise amuses me more and more each year.
When November rolls around, the project weighs on me until I finally get it underway. Then as soon as I dig in, the fun begins. Tom is the only one who gets to peek while the project is in process, and he knows better than to suggest major revisions unless I ask his advice.
The format is new this year. The "Mock Flock Gazette" newspaper approach had a good run for a couple of years, leading to last year's personal ads. I won't know until the grand unveiling on Christmas Day whether I've come up with a winner for 2010, but I sure had fun creating it!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Catching the spirit
I am more behind than ever, and feeling more caught up in the Christmas spirit than if my to-do list were in better shape. It's all because of a baby.
My weekends are not my own these days. A good part of the day Saturdays, most Fridays after work and Thursday evenings are devoted to a bundle of boy who commands attention that is not easily divided among other pursuits. He likes to be held. Even if he's playing in his circular seat surrounded by all sorts of toys to grab and gum, he likes to know I am nearby.
As a result, I have spent countless hours sitting and relaxing with my grandson rather than rushing from store to store. The annual "Mock Flock" calendar I have made for my extended family for more than a decade now has yet to be started. At this rate, family members will be lucky to get it sometime in January.
The funny thing is how much at peace I am with not crossing things off my list of Christmas chores. The smiles little Dodge delivers, the innocence of his face in slumber (even if it's a brief catnap) and the content he conveys while taking his bottle are all that's important. Anything else can wait, or maybe doesn't need to be done at all.
More than once, while holding this precious boy and listening to Christmas carols on the radio, I have thought how smart God was to bring his Son to us as a baby. It's so easy to know love and wonder while beholding an infant.
My weekends are not my own these days. A good part of the day Saturdays, most Fridays after work and Thursday evenings are devoted to a bundle of boy who commands attention that is not easily divided among other pursuits. He likes to be held. Even if he's playing in his circular seat surrounded by all sorts of toys to grab and gum, he likes to know I am nearby.
As a result, I have spent countless hours sitting and relaxing with my grandson rather than rushing from store to store. The annual "Mock Flock" calendar I have made for my extended family for more than a decade now has yet to be started. At this rate, family members will be lucky to get it sometime in January.
The funny thing is how much at peace I am with not crossing things off my list of Christmas chores. The smiles little Dodge delivers, the innocence of his face in slumber (even if it's a brief catnap) and the content he conveys while taking his bottle are all that's important. Anything else can wait, or maybe doesn't need to be done at all.
More than once, while holding this precious boy and listening to Christmas carols on the radio, I have thought how smart God was to bring his Son to us as a baby. It's so easy to know love and wonder while beholding an infant.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Transitions
We had a wonderful visit from my son last week, but I was surprised by the emotions that surfaced after he left. Ben won't be here for Christmas, so we tried to start decorating the house to give him a bit of a feel for having been home for the holiday. We got as far as the outside lights and putting the tree up inside -- but without all the ornaments on it -- before he had to leave on Saturday morning.
There was something about saying goodbye to him, and then having our grandson here on Saturday evening, that underscored the feelings washing over me. Wasn't Ben just the baby boy in my arms the other day? How did those years pass so quickly?
The roller coaster continued on Sunday as I finally got the rest of the decorations up, including the 1984 bulb commemorating Ben's first Christmas and some ornaments he made for me over the years. My thoughts tripped back and forth from being so thankful he is happy and doing well in the South to knowing it will be tough not having him here with us on Christmas morning. My heart went out to other mothers who have lost their sons; mine is only a few states away.
I keep thinking about the e-mail Ben sent when he arrived safely back in Mississippi, and about the conversation I had with him later on Saturday night. It was good to know he enjoyed his visit home, but that he was happy to be back where he has been living since March and where he is enjoying a new relationship with a special young woman. His e-mail subject line said it all: "I'm home!" Yes, he is.
There was something about saying goodbye to him, and then having our grandson here on Saturday evening, that underscored the feelings washing over me. Wasn't Ben just the baby boy in my arms the other day? How did those years pass so quickly?
The roller coaster continued on Sunday as I finally got the rest of the decorations up, including the 1984 bulb commemorating Ben's first Christmas and some ornaments he made for me over the years. My thoughts tripped back and forth from being so thankful he is happy and doing well in the South to knowing it will be tough not having him here with us on Christmas morning. My heart went out to other mothers who have lost their sons; mine is only a few states away.
I keep thinking about the e-mail Ben sent when he arrived safely back in Mississippi, and about the conversation I had with him later on Saturday night. It was good to know he enjoyed his visit home, but that he was happy to be back where he has been living since March and where he is enjoying a new relationship with a special young woman. His e-mail subject line said it all: "I'm home!" Yes, he is.
Friday, December 4, 2009
New me!
I have finally updated the photo of myself on this blog. (I think I updated it on Facebook, too, but that's another story. Still don't know how all this technology works!)
The old photo was from almost a year ago. It was taken on the occasion of Ben's OSU graduation, so it is fitting to update the picture this week, while Ben is visiting from his new home in Mississippi. I was wearing my first wig in the old photo, and the picture was taken before I accidentally fried my bangs in a New Year's Eve cooking mishap, which prompted me to get the second wig.
My new photo is with my real hair, which has grown back nicely since chemo ended in January. The curl that marked the initial regrowth is waning now, as I thought it would. My goal is to get it back to about the length it was for Mandy and Andy's wedding in 2006.
Here's the best reason of all for updating my photo -- the good report I had from the doctor this week. My most recent MRI showed no new concerns and no problems with the areas we have been watching! As a result, my OSU oncologist has lengthened my leash and doesn't need to see me again until March! The coming holidays are feeling very, very happy!
The old photo was from almost a year ago. It was taken on the occasion of Ben's OSU graduation, so it is fitting to update the picture this week, while Ben is visiting from his new home in Mississippi. I was wearing my first wig in the old photo, and the picture was taken before I accidentally fried my bangs in a New Year's Eve cooking mishap, which prompted me to get the second wig.
My new photo is with my real hair, which has grown back nicely since chemo ended in January. The curl that marked the initial regrowth is waning now, as I thought it would. My goal is to get it back to about the length it was for Mandy and Andy's wedding in 2006.
Here's the best reason of all for updating my photo -- the good report I had from the doctor this week. My most recent MRI showed no new concerns and no problems with the areas we have been watching! As a result, my OSU oncologist has lengthened my leash and doesn't need to see me again until March! The coming holidays are feeling very, very happy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
