Fast forward

I had to choose between two fun outings after work last night. One was an overdue get-together with high school girlfriends. The other was with a group of women writers I don't yet know well but have been wanting to join.

When I realized a couple of weeks ago that both events were on the same night, I told myself the choice was between looking back fondly or stepping into the future. The options were equally attractive, but the comfort of familiarity drew me to the gathering of old friends, some of whom I had not seen in years. I sent my regrets to the writers' group, but still wished I could have attended both.

Pondering the two invitations helped me to recognize a growing need to focus far into the future. I have glorious events to anticipate yet this year -- the birth of my grandson in July and a niece's wedding in August -- but I cannot separate them from the follow-up treatment I expect to be concurrently enduring. Thoughts of the baby are coupled with prayers that I will be well enough to help my daughter with him.

As I headed to meet my old girlfriends, I wondered if my urge to leapfrog well into a future past all cancer concerns would have been better served by meeting with the women writers. With them, I might be encouraged to entertain possibilities of writing more than this blog, I thought.

It turns out the high school gathering provided a nice future focus after all. We're starting to plan our 40th reunion for October 2010! It's easier for me to picture cancer as an afterthought by then.