I have a ridiculously strong competitive streak.
It's so bad I like to count the number of cars I pass when I manage to choose the moving traffic lane next to one that has slowed to a stop. I win! Using super double coupons at the grocery store or finding clothes on sale and then applying a discount coupon to save even more gives me the same delight. I win!
Today I am hoping for one of the biggest wins of all -- to get good results from the CT scan I had yesterday morning.
I am in a fragile place right now where every twitch or muscle spasm could be a tumor. My fingers probe my abdomen looking for lumps. Any weight gain is suspect, and I have trouble distinguishing between what might be scar tissue and what could be something scarier. I know from experience it is natural to be hyper-vigilant right now and to expect the worst.
My competitive nature wants to win every round of my cancer fight. The best outcome for today would be to hear there is no rematch on the horizon. But if there is, I'll come out swinging.
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