Well enough

I can be stubbornly protective of how I choose to use my time, so it's not a surprise that I did not welcome pleas from my husband and my mother this week to slow down a bit. Their concerns were similar: should I be engaging in so many evening activities after spending long days at work?

Last week I had something going on every night but Friday. This week has evening events three nights, plus an out-of-town obligation that will require me to hit the road by 5 a.m. one morning. I don't go looking for all these things to do; they just seem to find me, I told Tom. He and my mom would prefer me to hide better, or say "no" more often to some invitations.

There was an undertone in both their pleas that I didn't want to hear. They may not have intended the message behind the message, but it unnerved me a bit just the same. The unspoken sentiment was that I am still fragile; that my cancer could return if I don't take better care of myself.

Yes, my cancer could return, but I am not persuaded I can prevent a recurrence by shutting myself away or refusing to extend myself in ways that could lead to personal or professional growth.

Call me stubborn, but as long as I am feeling so good, I don't mind being a bit used up when I fall into bed. I sleep better after a busy day, which goes a long way toward taking good care of myself. But I promise, Tom and Mom, that I won't go looking for more to do.