Comfort and blessings

First, let me apologize for the long lag time between leaving the hospital and entering hospice care just before Christmas and not writing since then. I feel almost selfish for taking time to decompress from all the constant tests and talk about potential new treatments with little promise of even shrinking the tumor by one third. 

But you were all busy with the holidays, too, and I enjoyed posts of your celebrations. 

Now that I have been home a couple of weeks with hospice support and with the loving and untiring care of TC (although he must be exhausted) and a whole cavalry of siblings and in-laws and children and grandchildren and step kids and step grands and friends and neighbors, I am feeling so much better and stronger.

I am sleeping well, napping once or twice a day and eating wonderful and nourishing soups and meals that are all tasting delicious. I have even regained an interest in working crossword puzzles, reading the paper (even if it's old news), playing dominoes and watching TV shows and sports -- especially the basketball Buckeyes.   

Finally I feel like the symptoms of fluid retention throughout my body, and support for better breathing and less anxiety, are being addressed. I am able to take showers and even the occasional heavenly bath. 

There is also the promise of an actual massage coming! Although TC sees to plenty of loving daily back and feet rubs, too. 

The pampering I am receiving makes me feel so loved and blessed. I almost feel like my sarcoma is a bit less angry also. We aren't attacking it, so maybe it's not determined to fight back so hard. I'd be perfectly contented for it to make me an outlier again and go into hiding for another 12 years. What a miracle that would be!

Either way, I'm focused on everything and everyone that delivers me strength and love each day. 

It is my intent to use all the blessings I can muster to reflect them back to others. So If my writing and musings help you reflect on your own good fortune and find ways to use your talents to bless others, please do. 

Isn't that what we're all here for? To make life better for each other? I know so many of you are doing that for me, and I deeply appreciate it. 

 

Comfort and blessings

 

First, let me apologize for the long lag time between leaving the hospital and entering hospice care just before Christmas and not writing since then. I feel almost selfish for taking time to decompress from all the constant tests and talk about potential new treatments with little promise of even shrinking the tumor by one third. 

But you were all busy with the holidays, too, and I enjoyed posts of your celebrations. 

Now that I have been home a couple of weeks with hospice support and with the loving and untiring care of TC (although he must be exhausted) and a whole cavalry of siblings and in-laws and children and grandchildren and step kids and step grands and friends and neighbors, I am feeling so much better and stronger.

I am sleeping well, napping once or twice a day and eating wonderful and nourishing soups and meals that are all tasting delicious. I have even regained an interest in working crossword puzzles, reading the paper (even if it's old news), playing dominoes and watching TV shows and sports -- especially the basketball Buckeyes.   

Finally I feel like the symptoms of fluid retention throughout my body, and support for better breathing and less anxiety, are being addressed. I am able to take showers and even the occasional heavenly bath. 

There is also the promise of an actual massage coming! Although TC sees to plenty of loving daily back and feet rubs, too. 

The pampering I am receiving makes me feel so loved and blessed. I almost feel like my sarcoma is a bit less angry also. We aren't attacking it, so maybe it's not determined to fight back so hard. I'd be perfectly contented for it to make me an outlier again and go into hiding for another 12 years. What a miracle that would be!

Either way, I'm focused on everything and everyone that delivers me strength and love each day. 

It is my intent to use all the blessings I can muster to reflect them back to others. So If my writing and musings help you reflect on your own good fortune and find ways to use your talents to bless others, please do. 

Isn't that what we're all here for? To make life better for each other? I know so many of you are doing that for me, and I deeply appreciate it.