Blossoming

This poor little Christmas cactus is a methaphor for my current situation. We’re both beat up and worn out but, like my cactus, I’m determined to bloom again.

The cactus was a gift years ago from my daughter’s in-laws, Walter and Mary.

It was robust when I received it and for many years after. 

Then earlier this year, about the time I started dealing with my sarcoma recurrence, I decided the cactus needed either to be tossed or given some TLC to try to bring it back.

I put it in a different planter, repotted it in new soil and moved it to brighter location in our sunroom. It’s still straggly and a bit weak but darn if it hasn’t found a way to bloom just in time for the Christmas season!

So now I’m weak and back in The James Cancer Hospital as my gardeners in oncology, surgery and radiation look at their tools to try to figure out how they can bring me back to vitality.

I was admitted on Friday after talking with my oncologist about swelling in my feet and increased trouble breathing. Tests since then have shown the cancer has grown significantly despite the clinical trial chemo drugs. 

More tests are slated to help my gardeners decide what other options we have. TC and I are relying heavily on the prayers in our tool box. 

I may not be quite ready to bloom by Christmas, but I hope to regain some energy and be able to breathe easier by then.

May you all have a beautiful week leading up to Christmas. 

New rhythms

As I adjust to this new chemo clinical trial schedule, TC and I are getting used to the rhythms of the ups and downs of my energy levels. 

But I'm really enjoying the soundtrack of these days. 

TC picked up a guitar not quite a year ago and has come very far, in my opinion, in teaching himself to play. Plus I really like to hear him sing.

He's still a little audience-shy, with a few exceptions for grandkids and a couple of performances with friends earlier this summer. I'm the lucky one who gets to hear him most days, even if he's just practicing in another room because he thinks his "caterwauling" is going to disturb me. It never does.

And now that we know what to expect from the cancer-fighting drugs I'm taking, those new rhythms are getting easier to handle. 

The first chemo cycle was tough, but I'm attributing most of that to dealing with the chest drain and the difficulties I was having getting more than a few words out at a time. There was a lot of back and neck pain for several days last week after the drain came out, but that has also resolved.

Now we know that there is a window after each infusion every three weeks, from about day 5 to day 10, when my immunity is lowest. And we know the chemo pills that I take a couple times a week will make me tired the next day. So we mark the calendar accordingly and plan around it. 

We mask up when we're around others, even family, since it's that time of year when lots of bugs like to come inside. And TC is making lots of healthy food and juices. Friends and neighbors have also brought homemade soups to warm up chilly evenings. I can't thank them enough.

Here's to great holiday rhythms for all of you!