Sunday, November 29, 2009

Thanksgiving renewal

A year ago I devoted several blog posts to recounting my blessings. And that was in the middle of chemo treatments for a stubborn tumor that would remain in my gut for another three months before finally being excised! How much more blessed am I today, having enjoyed nine months of recovery and good health and the birth of my first grandchild?

Yet why is it that in the midst of the best times, we are more reticent in proclaiming the goodness around us? That is the irony that has me feeling ashamed this morning for neglecting this journal and for taking any aspect of my life for granted.

Thank goodness for the season that is now upon us! We shouldn't need a special holiday for thanks-giving, but it is a great reminder that there is much for which to be thankful, whether you have faced a cancer scare or not.

In this coming week, I will hear the results of last week's follow-up MRI, and I pray it will be continued good news. I know a troubling diagnosis would drive me back to this blog more regularly for the solace it offers, helping me reach out to friends and family for their support. How much better if I could use this blog not for myself but to help others find what they need to get through the day! My prayer today is to be thankful every day and to use my renewed health for God's greater purpose.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Whole new wardrobe

"Nice suit," my coworker remarked yesterday. "Ann Taylor?"

Her comment stopped me short. I couldn't remember the origin of the dark jacket and slacks. All I knew was it came from my great new place for fall and winter clothes -- the spare closet in my daughter's old bedroom. That's where I had moved clothing last fall that I could no longer fit into because of the growing tumor in my abdomen.

Later in the day I checked the label and saw my colleague's guess had been correct. Then I remembered the wonderful day of shopping I had enjoyed with my sister in August 2008 during a trip with our husbands to Las Vegas. We had perused great stores up one side of the Strip and back down, including two different Ann Taylors. But as the weather grew cooler last year and I started eying the purchases I had made for my fall and winter wardrobe, I could not zip or button the wool suit that had fit perfectly in August.

I remember the sadness I felt last year while moving my unwearable clothes -- some of them brand new -- out of sight to the spare closet. The memory makes it all the sweeter now to move those clothes back where they belong.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

New eyes

I am seeing with new eyes this morning, and my improved vision is spiritual as much as it is physical.

The physical improvement is amazing! I visited the eye doctor yesterday and told her my sad story: I couldn't read anything close without putting on my cheater glasses. I had them deployed in strategic places -- in a half dozen places around the house, in my office and in my purse. My sunglasses even had bifocal lenses for reading. I wore my contacts only once or twice a week because they didn't help much at all.

I left the eye doctor's with new multi-focal contacts and instructions to try to go without using the cheaters while testing the lenses for the next week. What cheaters? I glanced at my watch and immediately saw I wouldn't need reading lenses over these contacts. At work, I reached for my glasses a couple of times out of habit but never needed to bring them up to my eyes.

The clarity of my new contacts is a nice metaphor for the revelations that have come with my Cancer 2.0 experience of the last year. The eye-opening was not as sudden, but I see life differently now for having faced a serious medical challenge and experienced the grace and comfort of God's love and the amazing support of family and friends to get through it.

A wonderful treat awaits me later today. A large part of my positive outlook on life these days is less about my cancer recovery than it is the tiny bundle that is my grandson. I can't wait to look into his face with my new vision!