Almost normal

It's crazy how off-kilter things can get when you are smacked in the face with a life-changing cancer diagnosis. Routines go by the wayside. Your focus turns inward and all events are interpreted through a new filter. Then, if you're lucky, something intervenes and the cancer gradually stops hogging all the attention. I'm lucky.

It has struck me this week how much normalcy I have regained. Sometimes I even go for more than an hour without thinking of the lump in my belly! I am setting my alarm again to make sure I get into the office on time (or pretty close to it!). This week I am participating in evening activities four out of five nights, and then getting ready for Ben's graduation and open house on Sunday. There were times shortly after my diagnosis that I feared I wouldn't have the stamina to attend his graduation, let alone invite family and friends in afterward to celebrate.

Some days I feel so good I think I am going to wake up and find the lump has disappeared. Of course it hasn't, but I am hopeful the CT scans I will have tomorrow morning will show it is claiming less real estate in my abdomen these days.

My regained sense of well-being poses a dilemma. I have toyed with the thought of using this early-morning time once again for exercise. But then I realize I really like starting my day with the new mental workout that has become my recent pattern. Jogging versus blogging; it's nice to feel good enough to entertain that choice!