It's crazy how something like not getting the test results you had hoped for takes the wind out of your sails. My week has been like that, although I didn't want to admit it for a while.
Hearing last Friday that my tumor hasn't shrunk was more of a blow than I wanted to concede. But at least it's not bigger! It's no longer growing! As much as I tried to remind myself of those positives, it still was hard to evade the disappointment I felt.
It didn't help that I overextended a bit with preparations for Ben's graduation on Sunday, and with a busy week leading up to last weekend. By Monday, I was hurting physically as well as emotionally. It was harder to push aside unbidden thoughts that maybe the tumor won't shrink, or that it might start growing again.
It has been a slow recovery; now several good night's sleeps have helped restore my positive outlook. I know I need to baby myself so I don't get so worn down again and give way to negative thoughts. I am looking forward to double-dose chemo tomorrow to continue the attack.
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